The Toxicity of Self-Development, Goal Setting, and the Law of Attraction

Self-development and goal-setting are usually seen as a beneficial practice in life. It is great to be self-aware of your flaws and take actions to make changes to yourself, so you evolve into a better version of you.

I love the idea of it and I do practice it quite frequently, as it goes hand-in-hand with spirituality. However, there are some things that are also harmful about this practice.

Not Living in the Present

urgent

When you are goal-setting, taking action towards that goal, and taking time to visualize the future, you are not living in the present moment. Your mind focuses on living in the future, because through the Law of Attraction you are taught to visualize it.

Yes, visualizing what your life could be can put you in a good mood in the moment and motivate you to get to work on your goals, but it makes you not enjoy living in the present.

When I first started practicing the Law of Attraction, I went face-first into this visualization that I would do it all of the time. Because of this, I never took the time to sit back and live in the present moment, because I was so focused on what I needed to get done in order to ensure that my future was exactly how I wanted it to be.

It created a false sense of urgency and I became a workaholic.

We need to live in the present to be able to ground us to now. We don’t need to focus so hard on the future that the beauty of the present passes us by.

I’m not saying that you should completely disregard thinking about the future all together, but what I am saying is that there needs to be a balance between both.

You need to think about your hypothetical future to help motivate you to accomplish your goals, but you also need to be able to rest and appreciate the present moment by taking a step back and resting for a bit.

“On to the Next” Mentality

goal setting app free

Yay! You finally accomplished your goal. But, with workaholic mentality you are not celebrating it as much as you should be.

Goal-oriented people tend to have “On-to-the-Next” mentality. They tend to continue to push themselves towards their next goals, instead of taking a step back to bask in their current accomplishment.

I feel like a lot of the time, I personally need outside acknowledgment to really make me realize how much hard work I put into a project to make it successful.

Accomplishing a goal should be a cause for celebration, not a mere thing we can check off of our to-do list.

We glorify productivity. We need to take the time to appreciate and celebrate our smaller accomplishments. We need to reward ourselves in order to enjoy the process itself along the way.

If you don’t enjoy the process, is it something that you truly want to be doing? I feel like if you don’t enjoy it, you won’t feel as ecstatic once you complete your goal.

Even if you are feeling ecstatic and energized working all of the time, is it really that healthy for you?

Personally, I used to throw myself into my work in order to feel a sense of accomplishment, worth, and to distract myself from my mental illness.

Doing the work felt good at the time, but that led me to burn out. I lost all interests in my hobbies and, when reflecting on that time, I felt like I was a shell of a human being.

My only personality trait at that time was being addicted to my work. I lacked self-awareness that I was going and not stopping for hours on end. I never took breaks.

In the end I realized that, yes, you do have to take action towards your goals for them to come to fruition, but take it one step at a time instead of letting the excitement blind you from self-care.

It’s like if you were to dive head-first into concrete… it’s not fun.

There’s A Constant Need to Improve or Acheive

improve

In regard to self-development, it is healthy to be aware of our flaws and, if we so choose, make the changes to improve ourselves as individuals.

However, this practice can lead to us overanalyzing ourselves to the point of us getting down on ourselves. I feel like there’s a constant criticism of yourself in the world of self-development, which can be unhealthy, especially to those with mental illness.

I think that we should be able to come to terms with ourselves and practice self-acceptance, but it becomes tricky when self-development comes into play.

When you accept yourself you can be at peace with yourself. When you are self-developing you are trying to change yourself, because you aren’t okay with who you are in the present. This sounds quite contradictory to me.

How much can you change yourself until you are no longer authentic?

Flaws are relatable. Flaws are quirky. Flaws make us unique.

Constantly self-developing is like you are trying to achieve being your definition of the perfect person, but what is best for you is to do your best and be the best version of your true self that you can.

I feel like this process, if taken to the extreme, can make you seem like there is always something to improve on, and it is almost like a never ending internal battle to become your ideal self.

It’s like chasing a never ending goal, something you can never accomplish – perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist.

Similarly, when it comes to workaholics and goal-oriented people it appears to me that there will always be another goal to accomplish after you complete one.

What comes to my mind is like when DJ Khalid says his catch phrase, “And anotha one. And anotha one.” It’s almost like since you are always working towards something it feels neverending, you know?

I feel like there needs to be a point of satisfaction and a point of reflecting on all of the things you’ve accomplished, but instead to go on to the next thing and reject that awareness.


I believe that the only things that should matter in our lives are feeling purpose, enjoying the process, and chasing happiness

Meditating

We need to value the now, take breaks, and step back and rest for a moment. Life is short, but you shouldn’t rush through it with the blinders on.

I feel like self-awareness of our flaws and being attuned to our bodies is an amazing thing, I just feel like self-development shouldn’t be a constant in our lives.

I myself am working to find balance. A balance of work and play. A balance of self-improving and self-acceptance.

The key to contentment is balance, and I feel like in society we could all use a little bit more of that.

-JW (aka Indigo Stardust)

The Beginning of My Spiritual Wealth Journey

Welcome to Indigo Stardust! My name is Jess and on this blog I will discuss all things spirituality, Law of Attraction, and self-improvement, particularly in regards of harnessing an abundance and a wealth mindset.

I will be documenting my journey from making $0 in entrepreneurship to $1,000,000 and sharing how wealth is based on having a positive mindset.

By doing this, you will not only be able to follow the process of my entrepreneurship journey, but will have evidence having the proper mindset is the most powerful aspect of getting your business off of the ground.

Along the way I will also share tips and tricks to harness techniques of achieving this mindset and emphasize various concepts that may be uncommon practices to promote your wealth.

Why the name Indigo Stardust?

The name, Indigo Stardust, originated a few years ago when I was dabbling in witchcraft. It ended up being my ‘alter-ego witch name’, which might sound strange if you don’t have any background in witchcraft.

I just loved the name so much I wanted to repurpose it, so here it is.

Besides thinking that David Bowie is an icon, the name seems mystical and magical and I want whoever comes here to see the beauty and power that the mindset harnesses. With a positive mindset, it is almost as if you are magically attracting the life you want.

The ‘indigo’ part of the name seems relevant to me, because in my mind it is a color of calmness while also housing mystery – particularly in regards to the mystery of a person’s future, and the future is exciting!

My Story

Now, for a little background on me.

When it comes to the topic of spirituality I’m still new. I haven’t taken it seriously until a couple of weeks ago, when quarantine began.

I used to be very depressed and lost. I was indecisive and I didn’t know what I wanted. I had lost all hope in myself and felt isolated and alone.

At the end of 2019, it was the worst my depression had ever been, because I was sexually assaulted and I felt powerless.

I would see the person who violated me every day on my college campus, so I feel so weak and unsupported. I would get drunk to forget and try to eliminate the pain that I was feeling, which obviously wasn’t good at all for my well-being.

When I came home for good during spring break from college, I was so happy to be able to finally escape and get much needed love and support from my family.

I was still depressed, but I knew that I couldn’t handle it anymore. Something had to change. I just didn’t know how to change it.

That was until I discovered the idea of the Law of Attraction, which I first encountered on TikTok. It was a new way of thinking that I never heard of and I was intrigued.

I began doing research and watching countless videos about it on YouTube. I watched The Secret documentary – which is fantastic by the way, and even read the book that went along with it.

I studied different methods of manifestation for hours! I even made an entire binder for all of my spirituality notes and exercises.

I started to implement some of these practices into my daily life, like gratitude, meditation, and visualization.

I have only really been committed to the practice for a couple of weeks, but I have already harnessed results! I now have control of my depression, which almost seems to have vanished over night, I am happier, I am full of life.

I also have already manifested some crazy things, just by looking at the world through this new lens.

It has made me realize what I want and has given me the drive and focus to achieve my goals.

In regards to the wealth and business side of things, I have created a YouTube channel in the past, with the intent of making money (in comedy and entertainment), but it never got off of the ground, which I now know was because of my lack of knowledge regarding my mindset.

Because of the lack of proper mindset, I was not motivated to keep up with the channel and maintain a consistent posting schedule, so the outcome of the channel was not ideal.

Why am I doing this?

I want to help people overcome mental illness with these methods. I want to promote these methods, so others with similar stories as mine can feel this gift of joy!

I want to share what I have learned and all of the information I’ve compiled. I want to show you my journey and what it takes to easily attract the wealth you deserve and the journey to become a successful entrepreneur.

I want to be able to grow with a community of spiritual, optimistic entrepreneurs who are as hungry as I am for success.

Remember this: the Universe is ALWAYS on your side. You just have to learn how to harness it and that is through a positive attitude.

Since, I am writing about my journey from (almost) the beginning, I feel like it will be beneficial for others to see that anyone can put these techniques into practice and change their life.

Everyone deserves to experience pure bliss and everyone deserves to be happy. You just have to develop the skills and knowledge, which I will learn with you.

On this journey, we will grow together and experience successes and failures, but how we perceive these failures is what will make us stronger and overall happy individuals.

Life has so much to offer, so I hope you join me on this journey and we can help each other grow and build a community of like-minded individuals in the Indigo Stardust space.

Thank you so much for being here!

-JW (aka Indigo Stardust)